Touched…

It was a rainy summerday. Like the most days in that summer. Cold. Grey. No bright sun in the sky. Just clouds.

She was sitting at the window, starring through its pane, watching the raindrops fall down.
She tried to remember those old days, long ago, where the sun had shone, not just barely outside, but also inside her heart.
Only memories are left. Is there any way to get back to that place? Of joy, peace, victory, love?
Several times already she had made the attempt to talk to him.

To be close to him.

She never broke through, though. Somehow she couldn’t find words. Words to express – her heart.
Wasn’t it too selfish anyways to ask for success? For joy? For intimate love? For his very presence? Shouldn’t she rather pray for her neighbor or do some housework and not waste her time by sitting around?
Her desire was strong. Stronger than she could handle.
She decided to hide it deep in her heart. At a secret place.

She got up in order to go back to work.

“My daughter”, suddenly a since a long time not heard, yet familiar voice whispered into her ear. For her it seemed like a cry. The cry of her Father. His cry for intimacy with her.
“Don’t go away, please, don’t go. Stay with me. Listen to me. Just open your heart and receive.
I, I want to give you the love, the joy and all that you long for. Don’t you know that I’m the only truly satisfying source of love for you? Cause I know your heart! If you just would come to me! And stay. With me.
Lay down all these shields of ‘protection’! Don’t num your heart any longer. Please, don’t hide your tears. You don’t need to put on a mask. Neither before me, nor before men. Just be weak before me, my beloved, for I am strong. Yes, I am. I am your father! And I’m here besides you!
Come, let these idols go. You know, they won’t help you. Never. You know that I hate compromising. Lukewarmness. Idolatry.
Take my hand. I have more for you than you could ever dream of. So much more! So much more.
How much, my daughter, how much I love you! How much. Keep it in your heart. That I love you. When you need me, cry for me. That’s all you need to do. Like a child. Do you remember?
When you were a child, you cried out to me and I came and carried you away. Like the wind. You didn’t know the world. You were weak. But, you were wise and trusted me.
You don’t know how much I want to know that child again. That weak child, who has no great education or knowledge. Nothing to boast around with. Just a simple trust. In me.
A simple trust, that knows about the love and goodness of the Father. That knows that he will come and take away the pain. And replace it with joy. And peace. And love.
My daughter!”

She still was starring out of the window.
Strange.
The rain had stopped and there, at the uttermost part of the horizon, sunrays broke through the clouds, diving them into a beautiful golden light.
“What a beauty”, she thought, while wiping away her tears, “it’s like – hope…!”
A smile appeared on her face. “He loves me. Still. Good to know…”